Genius or tosser?

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Columnist, TV presenter and motor car afficiando Jeremy Clarkson was voted the fourth wittiest man in Britain a new poll reveals. He was pipped to the number one spot by Oscar Wilde who was in turn followed by Spike Milligan.

Clarkson, along with Stephen Fry, Paul Meton and Liam Gallagher were the only living witty wordsmiths on the poll as voted for by more than 3000 comedy fanatics by new TV channel Dave.

1. Oscar Wilde, playwright (1854-1900)

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast”

Passing through customs: "I have nothing to declare except my genius."

Last words: "Either those curtains go or I do."

2. Spike Milligan, comic (1918)

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy”

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

3. Stephen Fry, actor, writer, presenter (age 50)

“An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them”

"Animal testing is cruel. They get nervous and get all the answers wrong."

4. Jeremy Clarkson, car spotter, (age 47)

"Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary . . . that’s what gets you”

"85p for a plastic bottle of Coke? I thought they stopped using cocaine as one of the ingredients."

5. Sir Winston Churchill, policitian (1874-1965)

“A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen”

6. Paul Merton, comic (age 50)

“I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. If they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?”

7. Noel Coward, playwright (1899-1973)

“People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what’s wrong with it.”

8. Shakespeare, playwright (1564-1616)

“Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.”

9. Brian Clough, football manager (1935-2004)

“The River Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years”

"I wouldn't say I was the top manager in the business, but I was in the top one."

10. Liam Gallagher, Oasis frontman (age 35)

“She [Victoria Beckham] cannot even chew gum and walk in a straight line at the same time, let alone write a book.”

Do you think Clarkson is deserving of a Top 5 funny man billing?