Ugly Betty Channel 4

Betty has written a manifesto for series three (ie her return to work): Take on more responsibility. Stop romantic entanglements getting in her way. Look for an apartment.

Well, thank heavens for the last one; hopefully we will see less of the tedious Suarez ­family. Carrie Bradshaw’s ­asinine platitudes and Golden Girls cheesecake ­conflabs are one thing, but when Betty’s dad says stuff like “growing up isn’t about making the right decisions, it’s about dealing with the ­decisions you’ve made”, it’s time to pick the cat fluff off your cushions.

Series three is more of the same, but Ugly Betty will never replace Sex and the City. It is funny and more than ­moderately entertaining, but we don’t really care the same way about the characters. Are we bothered who Betty ends up with, or Hilda for that ­matter? No. Yet are we interested in Amanda and Marc being weird and cruel? Of course we are. We’re only human.

Daniel Meade is now running his own magazine, Player – “the third best-selling, no nudity, men’s magazine in the country” – and despite Betty drawing boos from the staff, it’s a much more fun place to work. Over in the chilly corridors of Mode it’s like Narnia. Snow queen editor Wilhelmina has got the air-con up to cryogenic, wiped away the easyJet decor, and installed a Hammer ­Horror nursery for her baby, which Christina is still carrying. Her entrance to the episode is a “heeere’s Johnnnny” moment, sledge-hammering her way through a wall. We’ve missed you, Willy.

Big tragedy supposedly ­befalls Betty when she rents a dilapidated apartment. Wait until you see the immense space, it’s a developer’s dream, but pigeon attacks and nudist neighbours make it hard for Betty to spot the potential.

Lindsay Lohan makes an unnecessary guest appearance as burger-joint bitch Kimmy Keegan, described by Betty as “pure evil”, but when a food fight ­ensues Li-Lo can barely suppress her smiles.

Surprisingly, now that Betty is out of Mode she’s actually in fashion. Her sexy char-lady look with nipped-in waist and on-trend canary yellow ankle socks and royal blue peep toes make her the coolest looking person on the show – from the neck down at least.