Thursday's TV choice is Pregnancy: My Big Decision, BBC Three, 9pm
Pregnancy among Britain’s teenagers is a well-known problem, but Stuart McGurk doubts this is the solution...
16 July 2009
I can’t deny it, I’ve spotted some problems with BBC Three’s learn-u-mentary.
The setup is simple, yet stupid. Two teens – Lydia, 14, and Chantelle, 16 – want to get pregnant. This is slightly complicated because a) Lydia doesn’t have a boyfriend, b) Chantelle’s boyfriend doesn’t want a baby and c) it’s all completely pointless.
So, to “stop” them becoming pregnant (they won’t), they have a “big” (pointless) decision to make: will they still want to be teen mums after going on a road trip, with their own mothers, where they learn what it would involve? They have five days to decide! I don’t know why!
It’s so bizarre it’s almost brilliant. But let’s be clear: it’s not brilliant, it’s just bizarre.
For instance, here’s Lydia’s bemused mum on the quest: “One minute, I’m thinking this is a crazy idea,” she says. “The next minute…”
And then they just cut away. Isn’t that amazing?
We’re supposed to assume she said: “I think it will be life-affirming.” She probably said: “I’m thinking I’m a really awful mother, why am I doing this, and, God, stop this, stop it now, stop filming!”
Anyway, the two girls (Lydia – Vicky Pollard; Chantelle – sweet, but naive) visit other teen mums, look after “training” babies, do work experience, and basically get told, in various ways: “Don’t do it.”
To be fair, this detailed approach seems to work.
“I never thought in great detail about pregnancy,” says a shocked Lydia after wearing an “empathy belly”. What is she referring to? The bump. She’d overlooked the bump.
I take it all back. The show’s a work of genius.
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