We're here to help you pick the right one this Valentine's Day (1)

PICKING a good DVD for a romantic night in is a minefield. Pick a rom-com where they get married in the end, and it’s a hint. Pick something too romantic and your fella of a few weeks will throw himself out of the ­window to escape. Pick Sex and the City and only one of you is going to enjoy it (sorry girls). So, which films are the safest and why? We give you the low-down.

NEW RELATIONSHIPS:

Advice: Keep it feel-good, not mushy, from the fella’s perspective as much as the woman’s. No marriage.

Lost in Translation

Bittersweet, unconsummated love story about an ­ageing actor­ (Bill Murray) and a directionless young girl (Scarlett Johansson) finding each other while stuck in Japan.

You’ve Got Mail

What safer rom-com than one where they hate each other? Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan play book shop rivals who fall for each other’s prose.

As Good as It Gets

Jack Nicholson in full-on Jack mode, playing misanthrope Melvin Udall who falls for waitress Helen Hunt. A romance as funny as it is awkward.

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS:

Advice: No perfect couples to make you feel bad, no Richard Curtis comedies. Funny, uplifting but with real depictions of couples. Still no marriages taking place at the end, though.

Manhattan

Woody Allen’s pitch-perfect study of New York dating neuroses in all their weird, ­unvarnished glory.

Meet the Parents

Hilarious Ben Stiller “parent-com” strikes a chord with ­anyone forced to meet the ­in-laws. Sequel Meet the Fockers isn’t bad either.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Charlie Kaufman’s brilliant backwards love story ­charting Joel (Jim Carrey) who erases the relationship with ­Clementine (Kate Winslet) from his brain. Romantic in the best possible way.

...AND SOME ANTI-VALENTINE'S FILMS:

For girls:

• Thelma & Louise:­Car-drivin’, men-killin’, ball-bustin’ fun

• The War of the Roses: Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner clash in ­domestic warfare

For guys:

• Swingers: LA guys talk films as they try to pick up girls. Not a romance

• Lethal Weapon: ­Ultimate buddy movie as Mel Gibson and Danny Glover get the bad guys