The heart surgery (1)

Question:

My ex’s new girlfriend has added me as a friend on Facebook. I think she sees me as a threat because I’m still matey with her boyfriend. I don’t want to confirm her because, to be honest, I don’t actually like her that much, and I certainly don’t want her seeing what I’m up to. Should I confirm her?

Anon

We Say:

Facebook protocol is very murky water, but let’s be honest – this is the internet, it’s not real life and there’s no point making yourself feel uncomfortable if there’s no reason to.

Polite neutrality is the key consideration here.

Tell your ex that his girlfriend “friended” you and mention that, while she’s ­really nice etc etc, you’d rather just keep your profile there for people you know well. If the girlfriend gets stroppy, that’s just because she can’t see what her bloke is writing on your wall and it’s unnerving her.

If your ex matters to you, make it quite clear to the girlfriend that she has nothing to fear from you, and that just because your ex is still talking to you it doesn’t automatically mean he still wants to leap into your knickers.

If she’s still feeling threatened after that, it’s just an ­insecurity problem between him and her and you’re well out of it.

You say:

Rob:

What an age we live in where our personal lives are sculpted by our pathetic cyber-identity. Firstly, we could all be doing something better than seeing who poked us and who added the “can you tell how old I really am?” application or “RIP Heath Ledger Society”. Sort your life out. Log off, get on with building relationships in the real world. This isn’t even worth debating, delete your profile, eject yourself from the bizarre world of social networking. If you can’t bring yourself to be rid of the flagrant showboating that is Facebook and say you don’t like her, simply deny her.

Liz:

Add her. Then spy on her. That’s way more fun than cutting this person out altogether. Anyway, friends close, enemies closer. Right?

S Rehman:

Just change your privacy settings! Silly question. However, she will notice you’ve denied her access.

Beckie Marshall:

She’s his ex! You are not supposed to get on. Why can people never deal with it? Her trying to be friends is probably a ploy to spy on you. So spy back!

Next Week

I have lost almost 2st since the new year. I love the new me, but it’s becoming a real problem with my boyfriend. He says he is “concerned” about me getting too thin. He has begun piling up my plate with food and often insists we get take aways. My weight is healthy, and I feel great. How do I make him back off? Anon

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