Seeing more than one person at the same time isn't slutty, it simply gives you the best chance of success

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BLAME it on speed dating, internet dating or that scapegoat for all things date related, Sex And The City – but multi-dating is everywhere.

The idea is simple: you date lots of people simultaneously and get to know them better before taking the plunge into a relationship.

It’s not cheating and the benefits are apparently numerous. Devotees say it boosts your confidence, makes you more objective about partners and ups your chances of meeting someone special.

“I think it’s a much better way to try and have a successful relationship,” says dating coach Adam Lyons. “Multi-dating is exactly that. Dating  – not sleeping with – lots of different people. It helps you figure out what you actually want from a relationship.”

Best of all, it takes the pressure off. “Lose the traditional idea that you should kiss on the first date and have sex on the third date,” he says. “Think of multi-dating more like hanging out with someone. And the more you date, the more relaxed and in control you will feel about it.”

Paul McCormick, 26, has always multi-dated and says it’s much easier to be chilled about your love life when you’ve got a few dates lined up. “When you’re multi-dating, a date is just going out for a drink, it’s not this huge event that you have built up to for the whole week and are really nervous about.”

He believes the trend is simply a reflection of modern life. “With internet and speed dating it’s normal to meet a lot of possible partners, which probably wasn’t the case ten  years ago,” he says.

Our cousins across the pond have been  doing it for  decades. Kate Shauna, 35, has lived in London for three years. “I’m from Canada and multi-dating is just what you do,” she says. “You’re single so you can mingle.”

Shauna is open, telling her dates she is seeing other people, and she doesn’t sleep with the men.

“Multi-dating gives you some perspective,” she says. “I’m not affected if a guy says he’ll call me and then he doesn’t. It’s brilliant for your self-esteem.

“And when you do meet someone you actually like, it’s a true reflection of your feelings for them as a person – not driven by insecurity or loneliness.”

Top tips on multi-dating success

Say yes

Start saying yes to invitations to people who aren’t your usual type, to get your numbers up.

Be honest

Tell your dates what the deal is. Mention that you are seeing other people from the start to avoid confusion.

Keep it clean

Don’t sleep with the people you are dating. It will get messy and stop you from being objective about dates.