geek love

ADMIT it, ever since you left school you have found geeks hot. But where does a singleton without the IQ of Stephen Hawking go to snare one? Here we visit some of their usual haunts.

The Science Geek

Location: Dana Cafe

Address: The Dana Centre, 165 Queen's Gate, SW7.

www.danacentre.org.uk

The place: I arrive in the midst of a debate on the "effect of leading virtual or part-virtual lives". "Hmm," I think to myself. Yet the cosy bar on one side makes it a little less intimidating to get amongst the geeks. There is just one problem: I am so intent on scouting around and trying to make eye contact with any halfway decent guys (and there are a few), I miss most of the discussion.

The play: I'm not going to lie – I doze off. Science is not my thing, and when I try to approach a fit guy with a question ("So, are you on Second Life?"), he looks at me as if I should go and get one. Even though this is what the discussion had been about. 

Fit factor: 5/10. No joy, but definitely potential – an impressively mixed, young crowd.

The Literary Geek

Location: Borders bookshop

Address: 203-207 Oxford Street, W1.

The place: Borders is stuffed with brooding literary types on the weekend, either reclining on the sofa in the Starbucks Cafe or splayed out on the floor surrounded by books. It's easy to spot a single guy – he looks like he could spend the whole day here, and probably will.

The play: I feign ignorance, and ask a guy with floppy hair peering at the Haruki Murakami section if the author is any good (he is my favourite). He shrugs and says: "Personally, I think he's overrated." Resisting the urge to club him over the head with Russell Brand's My Booky Wook, I walk away defeated.

Fit factor: 7/10. Don't discuss your favourite author. Just say: "Do you know of any decent book clubs in London?"

The Cultural Geek

Location: The National Gallery

Address: Trafalgar Square, WC2.

www. nationalgallery.org.uk

The place: Men who wax lyrical about art can be pretentious, but frankly, it's just hot. The only problem about fishing for blokes here is that it is impossible to tell if they are dating each other.

The play: I ask one guy about a painting, but he doesn't speak much English. By the time I reach the next guy, the security guard is glaring at me for talking loudly. Thoroughly intimidated, I bite my tongue and give her a bitter glare. I'm going to die alone now, thanks to her.

Fit factor: 5/10. Tricky because people go to galleries to immerse themselves. It's not an arena for open discussion.

The Verdict: It's harder than I thought. The trick? Bone up on material the geeks are passionate about. Playing it dumb may appeal to your average neanderthal but when it comes to geeks, knowledge really is power.