Holly good? The funky airport-lounge look at Planet Hollywood

The last time I ate at Planet Hollywood , I vowed never to return. Chewing on overcooked, overpriced burgers while listening to Britney screeching Toxic at ear-bleeding volume isn’t my idea of joy.

The new Planet Hollywood, however – just opened around the corner from the original Trocadero site – is a far less gaudily claustrophobic affair. It still serves duff food, but the layout and atmosphere are actually almost nice.

So what’s changed? While the old Planet Hollywood was basically just an imitation Hard Rock Café, the new ­venue’s high ceilings, ­concrete pillars and 60s-style chairs make it feel like a vaguely funky airport lounge. A bank of screens playing music clips is the only real concession to tackiness and, though it’s lacking Hollywood glamour, the room is airy and cheerful.

The film memorabilia is still there – we sat under some pants from The Full Monty, and there’s a Bond-themed room with musty-looking 007 gadgets lurking in glass cases – but it’s all fairly low-key.

As for the food, it’s what you’d ­expect. Stick to the American standards (steaks, burgers, ribs) and you get dependable but soulless fast food. Some “world-famous” strips of chicken in breadcrumbs with a mustardy dip were happily un-greasy but unhappily ­flavourless, while a rack of baby ribs was tender and smokey, but too sweet.

But the menu’s new Chinese section (pasta, pizza, salads and Tex-Mex are also offered) is an absolute disgrace. At £13.95, Planet Hollywood’s Singapore noodles are ­probably London’s most ­expensive and definitely its worst: a gloopy noodle mush slathered in a sickly lemony sauce. With all the Chinese dishes available for half the price and twice the quality in Chinatown, the whole list stinks of rip-off.

Still, we appeared to be the only ones grumbling – our friendly neighbours raved about their meal, while the teenage ­birthday parties around us were clearly loving the place. And for the style of venue, the service is perfect: swift, rambunctious and smiley.

The new Planet Hollywood is no gastro palace nor ­especially cheap – but as tourist traps go, it goes down well enough.

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Planet Hollywood, 57 Haymarket, SW1, 020 7437 7639, Tube: Piccadilly Circus, Meal for two: £85